The Portraits of the Fallen Memorial

Since it is not granted to us to live long, let us transmit to posterity some memorial that we have at least lived.
E. Joseph Cossman

Portraitsof the Fallen Memorial is an organization founded by Sherry Moore to enlighten the public about the loss of our men and women in uniform.  The purpose of the Portraits of the Fallen Memorial is to commemorate the sacrifice of those America Military service members, from California, who have died while serving our country during the Afghanistan and Iraq wars.  This is done by establishing a memorial that identifies each soldier with an artist rendering of their image.  The goals of POTFM are very similar to so many great organizations but done in such a unique way.  Their main goals are to illustrate in an effective way the implications of service to our country, to educate the public about our country’s value of service, peace and freedom and over time to erect a permanent memorial of all portraits transferred to tile, with a reflection area. 

I met Sherry on Veteran’s Day at the USS Iowa, with many mutual friends and mutual respect of our fallen a partnership was made.  When she asked for assistance with this project I was more than happy to help.  Sherry was finally able to set up an art show with all 155 completed portraits at the Hillel Art Center at USC.  OVerjoyed is the only word to describe how everyone felt as this day got closer.  

 

Sunday morning I was both excited and nervous to take on the roll of VIP Family Coordinator for the Portraits of the Fallen Memorial Art Show.  I have worked with families of our fallen for many years and knew (the best I can understand) that this would be a very emotional day for many of them.  Seeing the face of your fallen loved one on a wall knowing that they are no longer with us is an emotional moment no matter how long it has been.  I arrived early and assisted with the set up and walked around looking at each of the 155 faces staring back at me.  Artists captured so many of these men and women to an amazing likeness and provided a story through each image. 

As both artists and families arrived I realized that each was just as nervous and excited to meet the other.  The day was spent showing families the art work of their fallen loved one and introducing them to the artist responsible. Seeing familiar faces and meeting new families is always touching.  Towards the end of the day I finally let the magnitude of the art show come across me; looking at the faces of daddy’s that didn't come  home, sons and daughters that had their lives ahead of them and parents weeping over the loss of their child.  The art show did as promised because it showed the faces of our fallen and reminded people that these are not just names in the LA Times or on a wall but people with loved ones and lives to live; lives cut short because of their call to duty, their honor and their commitment to our country and the freedom’s it provides. 

I have the honor of knowing the families of the two men below; neither family was able to attend the showing but I was very moved by the portraits done of each man.  

 

Army Sgt. Blue Rowe Killed in Afghanistan 5/26/09.  Husband to Cindy and father to Andrew

Army Sgt. David J. Almazan Killed in Iraq  8/27/2006.  Husband to Salina

I met the family of Army Spec. Andrew J. (AJ)Castro when they arrived.  His father, Hector, looked at his portrait with such pride and honor with tears in his eyes while his mother Carmen broke into tears, watching his family comfort this amazingly strong women was touching.  Both of Carmen’s sons went Army, AJ following in his brothers footsteps.  No matter how hard his father, Hector, tried to talk him out of it all AJ wanted was to serve our country and said he ended up learning so much about Patriotism from his conversations with his son.  I enjoyed talking to Carmen, Hector and the rest of the family about AJ, his joker side, his love of both California and our country. 

Thankful for the moments with each family, thankful to be invited into their world to get to know their loved one a little better and thankful for organizations like the Portraits of the Fallen Memorial showing the world how important each sacrifice is. 

Honoring our fallen on Memorial Day 2013

The NorthwoodsGratitude and Honor Memorial is a place for reflection and honor, a place that we have each gone to thank those lost and mourn for their families. My family has gone there for September 11, Veteran's Day and Memorial Day each year together. Together we honor the names on the walls, read the names of the most recent fallen and say a prayer for their families; it's a tradition that we wish we didn't have to have.

Leaving roses and gifts for David

Love and messages to heaven

This year we again visited on Memorial Day but this year was a little bit different, this year we went to honor Miss Salina's husband while she is away completing her thesis research paper. We went to honor David, her husband, among the rest. As Grant purchased roses (Red was David's favorite), Krystina requested an additional dozen so she could leave one for each Hope, Lauren and Justin's daddy Mark, 1 for Makenzie's daddy Jamie, 1 for mommy's friend Jared.... and her list continued until we decided to leave 1 rose at the bottom of each list of names in addition to the 6 roses for David (1 for each missed Memorial Day) and the gummy bears she swore he needed.

As the ceremony started we listen intently to each Gold Star family that spoke, listened to the song from each branch and stood up when it as time to read the newest names of heroes on the wall. Krystina and I each read our names, honored each man saying his name loudly and so no one could forget his sacrifice. I am always so proud of the way Krystina looks at this, she makes sure she practices each name and says them with ease.

At the end of the ceremony Taps is played in echo... I can't explain every feeling and emotion that goes through me hearing each note played with perfection. Taps was played when my Grandfather died and I will never forget being 8 years old and hearing the trumpets played, listening to the 21-Gun salute wishing it would stop and my Grandfather would cuddle me. I can't imagine the feeling of being a wife looking at your husband’s flag draped coffin or being a child looking at your father/mother's flag folded and handed to your parent crying knowing this was the last moment you have with your loved one.




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Bishop Mule Days

Bishop Mule Days was founded 44 years ago by Bob Tanner, a local rancher and co-owner of the infamous 20-mule team.  Every year during the Memorial Day Weekend, more than 700 mules compete in 181 events at the Bishop Mule Days Celebration. There is no way to actually describe Mule Days. It is part mule show, part test of skills, and part Wild West show. Situated on the Tri-County Fairgrounds in Bishop, California, Mule Days has become an international world class event. Crowds have grown from 200 to more than 30,000 fans!  When I was asked to attend as the Grand Marshal representing all military families I was extremely touched and excited.  I grew up around horses and didn't realize how similar yet different mules can be.

I arrived in Bishop Friday morning and hit the ground running.  As I arrived at the Fairgrounds I was introduced to Chuck, a delightful gentleman with the California High School Rodeo Association.  He introduced me to the Queens from the California High School Rodeo Association and we were treated to a tour of the Mule Days fairgrounds and invited to attend Mule Days Founder Bob Tanner’s dinner party on his ranch with one stipulation… no heels.  As we walked around the fairgrounds meeting many of the competitors and mules I was surprised at how beautiful and majestic mules look.  They are great and sweet animals and very smart, there were many escaped mules over the weekend.  I was also fascinated by the many different types of mules, which are horses bred with donkey’s. 

Getting ready for Mr. Tanners barbecue was a little more challenging as I don’t have cowboy boots but thanks to the Boot Campaign I am the proud owner of a pair of military issued combat boots which I proudly wore to the party with my blue jeans and pink shirt to represent breast cancer awareness, the Mule Day’s theme for Friday.  The dinner hosted many local dignitaries and residents of the local convalescent hospital, including 4 WWII Veterans!  As I walked around speaking to each of them I learned so much.  Some of these men may not be able to remember a year ago but each of them remembered the events of the war and their battles in such vivid manner.  Ralph was part of a unit on the beaches of Normandy while Dennis was a Boatswains Mate with the 4th Marine unit landing at Iwo Jima.  I enjoyed my conversations with both of these men to such a large degree – learning about their families and lives.  Thank you isn’t enough.

Saturday morning brought the VIP breakfast where I was able to meet another military family in attendance that I would be riding along with in the parade.  James and Jessica are both Army Veterans and along with their 2 sons are very army strong!  It was wonderful getting to know them and their boys, very respectful young men.  It just so happened that 2 Marines were in the parade just behind us so along the route there was some good natured ribbing between the branches but I do believe HOOAH won.  The parade route was wonderful; Bishop is an extremely military proud and friendly community where I couldn't have felt more welcomed. 

After the parade I was able to fulfill one of my Mule Days requirements… riding a mule!  Miss Oregon Rodeo America lent me a pair of cowboy boots and a mule to ride.  I had a blast sitting atop of Biscuit and touring the fairgrounds.  Such a LARGE yet sweet animal that made me miss riding for sure.  At the end of Saturday I enjoyed watching the Grand Entry, evening competitions and spending some time with a childhood friend and her family. 

On my way out of town I stopped at Cobweb Antiques, a wonderful and quaint antique store with the sweetest owners.  I love antiques and was overjoyed to speak to them about their store (an old jail!) and the memories of many of the items being sold.  There is so much you can learn about an area by their antique stores.  Cobwebs store owner James gave me two beautiful pairs of antique earrings as good luck for Mrs International. 

I can’t say thank you enough to the wonderful town of Bishop and all of their residents, your generosity and hospitality were second to none.  I will be back next year without a doubt.  

From the beach to the desert

“The reason we race isn't so much to beat each other,... but to be with each other.”
― Christopher McDougall,

I love being part of TAPS Run and Remember Team; Honoring our fallen through the miles, remembering their sacrifice and their lives. Saturday morning I ran the Huntington Beach Tri the Beach 5k with the parents of a fallen soldier and the aunt of a fallen marine. We spent most of the 5k talking about their son/nephew, their likes and dislikes and reasons for joining their respective branches. Often people see the loss of these lives as bigger than the lives they lead. They were men and women that fought and died for a country they love; they had amazing personalities and live on through their families.

This weekend I once again carried the photos of PFC Kelly McGuire and Sgt. Clayton Dunn on my back. After the run I was on the road to another event in Las Vegas when I had an opportunity to talk to PFC McGuires mother Lurlene for the first time. I wanted to know more about her son, about this young man whose first name was my middle name. It turns out that Kelly was married and had a young son when he died; he was a musician at heart but joined the Army to provide a good life for his family and had a pretty big personality. His son is now 5 years old and the apple of his grandparent’s eyes. Kelly is never far from their minds. I am friends with Kelly’s family on Facebook as well as the surviving spouse of Sgt. Dunn. Sgt. Dunn’s wife is doing an amazing job of raising their beautiful little girl.

Kylynn Maxwell and I after setting up the TAPS booth

My sister and I after the run - I was emptying the sand out of my shoes

TAPS Run and Remember post HB 5k sand run

Once we got to Las Vegas I felt even more fulfilled from this conversation. I was there to attend the Gold Star Wives of America regional banquet. Gold Star Wives was organized in 1945 by war widows from World War II. It is a Congressional chartered, non-profit organization incorporated in the State of New York. Eleanor Roosevelt signed the original GSW incorporation papers. The history of this organization is as wonderful as they work they do for our communities and surviving spouses.

We watched the installation of the new regional board, ate a wonderful meal, enjoyed some entertainment and conversed with each other. I had the opportunity to sit next to an 83 year old woman, her husband passed away 10 years ago. She talked me about past wars; deployments spent waiting for physical letters and the love between she and her husband it was inspiring. We forget how much different it was in older times, past wars and simply life.

Patty Termini, Southwest Regional President and Jeanette Early, National President

A flag to honor

On March 30 I was asked, as Shana, to attend a memorial flag raising to honor a soldier from Corona, SSG Michael Cardenaz. I met SSG Cardenaz' wife in December at the Snowball Express send off at LAX along with her sweet daughter (1 of 3). Each time I see this family the little girl looks for my purse and my crown, after all a queen ALWAYS has her crown. This time though...I did not.

Upon arrival I spent some time with the Chaplain that was deployed with Michael. He had some great stories about a man bigger than life, personality for miles and a deep love for his family. Then came the Patriot Guard Riders along with the Soldiers family... quite a sight!  Michael's widow, Active Duty Army in her full military uniform, spoke quietly with thank yous and memories while their daughters cuddled up on the laps of their grandparents. Krystina and I joined other surviving spouses and Michael's family and friends, while the Honor Guard placed the flag on the hooks and started to raise it. To my humbled amusement the perfectly still day became breezy although just enough to fly the flag perfectly up the pole. It was a sight and reminder that this family is never alone.

After the ceremony, the children went off to play while the adults chatted for a few more moments.  Sharing in each others happiness, sadness and in between is what military spouses do. We are each others support no matter what.  

One of my favorite things about this family is that the wife is active duty Army as well - as my daughter says, "She's an AWESOME girl soldier!"

Articles and upcoming events

This past month I have been very busy planning several upcoming events for families of our fallen in addition to participating in events for heart health month.  I am also a featured write as the Military Family Examiner on Examiner.com and was recently asked to write a monthly column for the Orange County Register.  Most who know me know that I LOVE to write; I have 2 books that are complete that I am just pending publication on.  I believe that you should do the things you are passionate about;  while I may never be JK Rowlings and amass a fortune through writing it is something that I love and enjoy.  Growing up I was encouraged to write my feelings and thoughts, I have journal upon journal chronicling my adolescence and early adulthood however due to circumstances I was unable to keep journals for several years... those years were turned into my first book in retrospect.  That book may never be published but will always hold a very special place in my heart as that was a very difficult time in my life that I am so proud to have made it through. 

If you would like to see my writing and subscribe to my columns you can:

www.examiner.com/military-family-in-los-angeles/shana-smith

1.       www.ocregister.com/news/day-495754-valentine-orange.html

Our upcoming events for Got Your Back Network are very exciting.  I am in the planning stages of family day with the Anaheim Angels baseball, Ducks Hockey and our first surviving spouse financial literacy program.  With the scope of all that the Got Your Back Network offers being so broad it allows me to seek out different events for families to participate in and see what they like the best.  The organization is for them so what works and what doesn’t is based on their needs and wants.  In the past several years I have learned that each person in a different place in their journey, no place is right or wrong but a personal journey, therefore it’s important that their needs are met regardless of where they are.

Coming up:

February 16       Red High Heel Walk for heart health awareness

February 18       Anaheim Ducks game – Got Your Back Network (Tentative)

March 16          Got Your Back Network Financial Literacy Workshop

March 22          Go Red for Women Luncheon

Bright and early... without the bright at the Neverland 5K

“The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.”
― John Bingham, No Need for Speed: A Beginner's Guide to the Joy of Running

7 weeks ago Grant and I signed up for the Neverland 5k at Disneyland.  We have never run together but thought that it sounded like fun and was for a great cause, we were running with the TAPS Run to Remember team.  We looked forward to it so much, talked about it frequently and discussed that I should probably start training for it. 

Well... Saturday morning was the Neverland 5K at Disneyland.  Oh yes, my non running (lack of training) self was there with some great company.  Grant was supposed to run with my however due to the early race time he stayed home with Krystina as we both knew that there was NO way she was going to get up at 3:30am to run.  I honored both of our service members through my run: PFC Kelly McGuire (incidentally Kelly is my middle name and I am very proud of it so I think this was fate!) and SGT Clayton Dunn II. 

Before the run I emailed with PFC McGuire’s mother Lurlene and learned a little more about this remarkable young man who was also her only son.   She is quite a wonderful woman with pride a mile long – she even cheered me along on FB during the run!  I look forward to honoring him with each of my future runs.

So bright and early... well 4:30am so NOT bright at all... I met up with my friends from TAPS; Salina, Kylynn, Marie and Jennifer along with Salina’s sister to hit the start line and go.  We watched Tickerbell fly through the Disneyland fireworks, listened to the National Anthem while they turned the Disneyland Castle Red, White and Blue and giggled with anticipation and excitement.  Ready to run like the wind in my TAPS shirt (borrowed from Salina, the shirt she wore when she ran the Great Wall of China, no pressure here), with photos of Kelly and Clayton on the back and matching American Flag socks  I got instantly overwhelmed – what if I couldn’t run the entire thing (as previously stated I am NOT a runner), if I didn’t run the ENTIRE thing was I letting down their memory... I got a knot in my throat and wanted to cry however I looked around me – I looked at the picture of Kylynn’s husband Nathan on her back, the picture of TAPS founder Bonnie Carrol’s husband on Marie’s back and the picture of Salina’s husband David on hers and realized that the run was to honor them but they didn’t care if I ran every single step as long as with each step I was remembering them and their sacrifice.  I was still scared but calmed in that moment.  Then the countdown and the start line – off and running.

Throughout the run, Kylynn encouraged me to keep running and stayed with me... crossing the finish line together was wonderful.  We waited for our entire group, took photos and headed home.  I love being around these wonderful women, having friends like them is what it’s all about...

We were about 1/3 of the way back - there were even more people behind us

Kylynn and I at the FINISH line

Honoring PFC McGuire and SGT Dunn II

13 Folds of the flag

Friendships are what makes the world go round and I am a VERY blessed girl.   

I met Kylynn in May at Martini’s & Makeovers, a Got Your Back Network fundraiser honoring surviving spouses.  She was quiet and calm with a light about her; when Salina introduced us I felt something about her.  As I heard her story and got to know her more I felt a connection with her, there were things I understood and her light made sense. 

I have talked to her about Nathan on several occasions - her love and husband.  I have heard many things about him but in her words I wanted to share:

Nathan is the best thing that ever happened to me. We attended the same high school, and had many mutual friends, but never actually met until he returned from boot camp. We were instantly attached at the hip. He was handsome, smart, and just plain goofy. He was a big kid at heart and that is one thing I miss the most about him. He could always make me laugh, and had a good time doing it! His fellow Marines called him "smiley" because he always had a huge grin on his face, even if they were stacking sandbags for no apparent reason in the middle of the dessert. He loved running, animated movies, mountain biking, video games, playing guitar, Chinese food, Yoo Hoo chocolate milk, anything to do with Marvel super heroes, and working at Toys R Us during Christmas. He had a soft spot for helping others, especially kids. We dated for three years before we finally tied the knot, a week before he left for deployment. 

Every day I am reminded of some silly little thing that I miss about him. He taught me so much about myself, about love, and about life in general. Through both his life and death he has shaped me into the person I am today, and for that I am grateful.
From Marine Cpl Nathan Maxwell obituary

He was united in marriage on March 27, 2009, in Jefferson City, to Kylynn Michelle Hill who survives.

In 2005 Nathan enlisted with the United States Marine Corps Reserves. He recently returned from Iraq in February with the rank of Corporal.

Nathan was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Nathan enjoyed working out, running, computer games, movies, fishing, spending time at the lake, golfing, listening and playing music, comic books, and most especially spending time with his family. Nathan was a happy and loving child and husband, and grew into a deeply compassionate young man. Nathan was a man who loved to serve for others. He was loved greatly and words cannot express how much he will be missed.

Kylynn didn't have the flag that was atop Nathan's casket.  The reason was not because it was never presented rather a decision in a moment that undoubtedly was caused by her own strength. She was fortunate enough to give Nathan a funeral with full military honors, and although the ball was dropped many times the one thing they did right was removing the flag from the casket, folding it and presenting it to her. His mother was handed an extra flag, but his father (they were divorced when Nathan was 1) did not receive one. After receiving her flag, Kylynn immediately walked to his father and handed it to him. It was probably one of the hardest decisions she had made, especially because his father proceeded (flag in hand) to blame he for Nathan's death. While Nathan’s father may never admit it, Kylynn knows in her heart that her action meant a lot and that Nathan would have been proud of her decision.  This gesture is what brought us all to the American Legion in Montebello that night. 

On December 9 I attended a very special ceremony; one that I have never witnessed before but will forever stay with me.  Kylynn finally received a folded flag in honor of her husband Cpl Nathan Maxwell.  The night was a surprise to her, she wasn’t told who would be there or why she was going.  When she showed up, looking radiant, with a photo of her husband Nathan framed in her arms she was greeting by a small group of friends and the American Legion.

As Gold Star Wife President Salina Jimenez began reading the significance of the 13 folds of the flag as it was folded, her voice cracked but she kept going... her strength and her husband’s will with her all the way.  I quietly watched the flag being folded, saluted and handed to a marine in his dress blues who then handed the flag to Kylynn, “On behalf of a grateful nation.”  As I took pictures, my eyes filled with tears I knew that moment was something that I will never forget.  Marine Cpl Nathan Maxwell is a man that I never met yet a man that I know from his wife, I know from his photo and a man that I have great admiration for.    

After the ceremony several of us went to dinner; we laughed, we cried and we laughed some more.  There are moments in life that you look in on, moments that you see yourself experiencing and know that it will never be better than this.  I looked at the people at the table and realized that I have wonderful people in my life and I hope to provide them the friendship that they have so willingly given to me. 

There have been almost 7000 service members killed in combat during the last 11 years our country has been at war and the number of suicides is rapidly increasing.  In all, 349 service members in all branches of the US Military committed suicide in 2012, up 15 percent from 301 suicides in the military in 2011, AP reported, citing a Pentagon source. The number of US Military suicides in 2012 exceeded the total combat fatalities in Afghanistan in 2012, which the AP calculated at 295 deaths.  

Please don’t forget the families missing their hero today and every day.

As the flag is folded, for each fold recite the following:

Fold 1: The 13 stripes represent the original 13 states: Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Georgia, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maryland, South Carolina, New Hampshire, Virginia, New York, North Carolina, and Rhode Island

Fold 2: The 50 stars represent our 50 United States of America

Fold 3: "I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death", Patrick Henry

Fold 4: "These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman", Thomas Paine

Fold 5: "We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal. They are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights. Among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness", Declaration of Independence

Fold 6: "We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution of the United States of America", United States Constitution

Fold 7: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances", First Amendment

Fold 8: "The basis of our political system is the right of the people to make and to alter their constitutions of government", George Washington

Fold 9: "My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy!" Thomas Jefferson

Fold 10: "Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal", Abraham Lincoln

Fold 11: "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door", Emma Lazarus, inscription on the Statue of Liberty

Fold 12: "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country", John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Fold 13: "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character", Martin Luther King, Jr.

Project Gratitude & our Honorary Miss America's

It's an absolutely humbling experience to have literally hundreds of people looking at you with their eyes telling a story of thei

r own hopes and dreams.... There's a feeling that what you have attained for yourself--although only relatively short-lived, for a year--is a lifetime venture. It's a feeling of destiny.  Laurel Lee Schaefer Miss America 1972

Each year I am part of a team that spends MONTHS planning 1 event however this one event is worth every bit of it.  Each year the Got Your Back Network takes 8-10 families of surviving spouses and daughters of our fallen heroes to Las Vegas for 4 days with the culmination of the trip being the Miss America pageant.  This is my 3^rd year as part of this trip and each year my role has grown.  The first year I felt that I was there more as a volunteer and observer however this year I was a larger part of the planning, the family contact and each event in Las Vegas.  I must say that calling each family to invite them was a highlight; one family cried then another just screamed – I can’t stop smiling just thinking about those calls.

Our guests and volunteers traveled from around the country into Las Vegas Thursday January 10, courtesy of American Airlines. Each family stayed at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino, home of the Miss America Pageant (and to one young ladies excitement, Coco from Ice T and Coco was there as well).  At our Thursday night dinner we were treated by a special guest, Chris Harrison from The Bachelor and 3 service members from the Joint Chiefs of Staff office as well as 2 local Miss America and MAOT titleholders.  A great way to get to meet each other face to face and see the excitement for what was coming next.     

On Friday each family participated in a photoshoot at the El Dorado Mines in Nelson, NV.  We had such a good time touring the mines, then each mother and daughter had their hair and makeup done before their individual photo shoots.  The town has been host to photo shoots and video shoots for Luke Bryan and Beyonce!   Cheyane, daughter of 2^nd LT Mark Gelina, recreated the cover shot of Luke Bryan’s CD with the help of Joe-Bec whose family owns and operates the mines. 

Friday night after a wonderful dinner at the Rattlecan, a wonderful restaurant inside of the Venetian the mom’s and older girls were treated to the Rock of Ages musical show while our younger princesses took part in a Princess Pajama party.  Everyone had such a wonderful time and we were passing cell phones of pictures down the line to show each mom the fun her daughter was having. This was another late night but seeing the smiles and hearing all the laughter makes it worth it... besides it’s VEGAS!

Former Miss America's, honored families of our fallen on stage for a group picture

Our VIP families were then royally pampered Saturday at the Canyon Ranch Spa, had a mini trunk show of gowns, received gift bags of donations from some amazing companies just before each young lady was crowned.  Then off to change and head to Miss America for another big surprise...each family was honored in the Miss America preshow!  They walked across the Miss America stage while a short biography was read about their loved one, they received a special coin from Col Henderson and LTC Forbes and were then ‘pinned’ as an honorary Miss America.  The audience listened to each introduction so intently and I was humbled and proud of each families strength.  As the families made their way back to our AWESOME seats they were met with another standing ovation... I get goose bumps just thinking about it.

After the pageant and our good-byes (everyone had different flights out Sunday), Kathleen and I headed out to enjoy the sights in Vegas a bit.  We met up with a few friends and next thing we knew we were taking photos with the new Miss America Mallory Hagen!  First I want to say that she is the sweetest young woman and seems incredibly down to earth, second of all we had no intention of meeting anyone besides our friends we had dressed down for the night and here we were taking a photo in our JEANS!  Good grief!  We also ran into Janice McQueen my friend and director of the Mrs CA & NV United States Pageant, then Gaspar Cruz and Miss WY Lexie Madden (another young lady that seems you could meet up with for a burger or a black tie gala).   Kathleen and I along with the COL and LT Col were attended the ‘Formers’ get together where I was excited to meet Lee Meriwether and Leanza Cornett along with Heather French and many others; I may not have to point this out however this was a pageant girls DREAM as I watched so many of these women get crowned and looked up to them.

I left Las Vegas bright and early Sunday morning, flew home and then drove 2 hours to central California to be part of my husband’s Army promotion.

As with each year I am so grateful to be part of an organization that makes events like this possible, being able to meet so many wonderful women and their daughters and knowing in my heart that my family just got a little bit bigger.  I am also thankful to all of our wonderful and generous sponsors each year because without you no part of this would be possible.  I am already planning ideas for NEXT YEAR!  I wish our new Miss America, Mallory Hagen, a wonderful year of memories and service.

Cheyane meeting Coco and her sister at Planet Hollywood

Chris Harrison and I at Thursday night's dinner

with their Girl ExtraOrdinaire gift bags

Wreaths Across America



Los Angeles National Cemetery - Wreaths have been placed.  Such a beautiful sight



















For it has been said so truthfully that it is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.  It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the agitator, who has given us the freedom to protest. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, serves beneath the flag, whose coffin is draped by the flag, who gives that protester the freedom to abuse and burn that flag. – Zell Miller

 You know those days, events or moment where there are just no words?  I am never one to be speechless, sadly if I’m nervous I usually make a joke however this day even that didn’t come to me.  On December 15 I volunteered to lay wreaths at the graves of our fallen service members as part of Wreaths Across America at the Los Angeles National Cemetery.  Wreaths Across America’s mission, Remember, Honor, Teach, is carried out in part by coordinating wreath laying ceremonies a specified Saturday in December at Arlington, as well as veterans’ cemeteries and other locations in all 50 states and beyond.

In the days leading up to Saturday I received several emails from the volunteer coordinator with wreath counts asking for additional publicity and donations to bring in as many wreaths as possible this year.  The Los Angeles National Cemetery was dedicated in 1889, with over 114 acres and 85000 graves, from the Civil War, the Spanish-American War, World War I, World War II, Korean War, wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and other American conflicts the goal is to cover every one with a beautiful wreath.  When I showed up I was told that LANC had received 950 wreaths to be laid which is almost 700 more than last year thanks to donations.  As I walked towards the stage I saw Debra, Salina and Kylynn, both women I have learned so much from.  They told me that I would be riding along with the Patriot Guard Riders to lay 60 wreaths.  I had no idea what was next and I can be honest in saying that my level of respect and pride increased exponentially over the next 4 hours.

While most volunteers, gently laid the wreaths and went onto the next headstone the Patriot Guard Riders read short bios on each veteran we laid a wreath for, gave them each full respect and salute; if family was present they also spoke about their loved one.  I met several Gold Star Moms there to lay wreaths for their sons and heard some great stories about these young men.  I saw pictures, heard stories and hugged more people in one day than in my entire life.  I wish more people saw the faces of our fallen versus just their name – I met the mother of Army Staff Sgt. Curreri a young man that attended USC and qualified for the 2000 Olympic trials before September 11 changed his path.  His photo was on his headstone along with many of the other young men buried there.  I could have talked to the moms for hours about their sons, their grandchildren and their daughters in laws.   

During the opening ceremony we were asked to take note of the names of the veterans who’s name headstone we laid the wreath at.  To go home and look him/her up and learn a little about them... make them more than a passing moment on your Saturday morning.  I laid several wreaths that Saturday, Sergeant Christopher Dwayne Young Company C, 3rd Battalion 160th Infantry a National Guard soldier killed in 2007, an unknown soldier from Vietnam and Sgt Charles I Sprague a WWI Soldier who died in 1949.  Standing at the graves of a true heroes, with my hand upon my heart saying thank you was indescribable.

It took us almost 3 hours to lay our 60 wreaths, 3 hours of learning, thanking and honoring each man and woman laid to rest at LA National Cemetery.  When it seemed that we were the only volunteers left in the cemetery, the feeling of love was all surrounding. That was all I needed to satisfy my holiday’s – I already have the daughter and husband I always wanted this was the icing on the cake.  As we were leaving Debra, a Gold Star Wife that I met at Snowball Express handed me a gift as a thank you for being there.  I teared up instantly as being there was my thank you to her for all she has endured... in the box was a beautiful spun glass Christmas tree with a tiny gold star on the top.  This has become one of my most cherished things – it’s a representative of so much that I can’t explain.  Long after Christmas this will sit on my desk at work as a reminder of this journey. 

The Patriotic Pair wreath on our door honoring our men & women in uniform

The Patriot Guard Riders were lined up and ready

Debra, Salina (President of CA Gold Star Wives org) and Kylynn

Sgt Charles Sprague - World War I