Golden Rule Group

My beautiful friend, and newly crowned Mrs. California United States, asked me to come speak to her women’s group, the Golden Rule Group or GRG, about inspiration and overcoming obstacles in life. I have never found myself to be particularly inspirational as I have simply lived my life… just being me regardless of whats been laid before me. I took Dawn up on her offer and went to Los Angeles to speak at her meeting with excitement.

Honestly, I have not been a fan of talking about my past struggles for quite some time. Domestic violence and homelessness typically elicit negative feelings from most and a look that I am all too familiar with. I took quite a bit of time thinking about what I wanted to say and how I wanted to incorporate the past into all of the amazing blessings in my present life. I was extremely nervous after all I didn't know anyone beyond Dawn. I wanted the women to see how far I have come not where I have been; after all my past doesn't define who I am it simply gave me a spring board to get to where I am.

After writing my ‘speech’ and knowing it word for word I felt prepared. When I stood up to talk, I delivered the first line before I chose to set it aside and speak from my heart to the group of women in attendance. It wasn't as hard as I had anticipated but was able to get my points across without being uncomfortable in my own skin. I was surprised to find out that many in attendance had similar experiences and handled them in different ways.

I was honored to be able to talk to them about overcoming obstacles, no matter the size, and moving forward towards the best life you can. I discussed everything from Got Your Back Heroes to pageant preparations, losing my 34 year old best friend to a heart attack just a year ago and my involvement with the American Heart Association and GoRed for Women. I was able to discuss prioritizing one’s life, because as women we tend to take care of those we love more than taking care of ourselves.

At the end of the meeting I connected with several attendee’s for upcoming events and speaking engagements. I also felt that I was able to educate many of them on the need to take care of their health and overcome adversity in your own positive and healthy way.

Thank you to the Golden Rule Group for their acceptance and openness!

 

When they come back WE GIVE BACK - Boot Campaign

I am so excited to share with you my boot shoot for the Boot Campaign. I am over the moon excited to be part of this movement. I was introduced to the Boot Girls a few months ago and after talking to Christina for 10 minutes I was attached. 5 women started a movement that is now reaching globally with their boot sales and support is no short order and one I am very proud to support. Being able to strap on my boots under such a beautiful gown and supporting our military in this unique way was awesome! I even had to enlist the help of my Soldier husband to properly lace my boots - his best advice was left in a note on the fridge "I know it's uncomfortable but DONT forget to tuck your laces!" As Christina, Gwen and Megan at the Boot Campaign have told me... think about grabbing your boots instead of your heels to support our troops. YES, I will be doing that this year!

When you purchase a pair of boots from the Boot Campaign website the money goes directly to a program to assist wounded military or families of fallen military. They are currently in the process of planning their next great event, Boots on Broadway, to include families of our fallen, at an upcoming Broadway show – I am SO excited to help with this event along with their families of the fallen initiatives.

I’m looking towards a partnership between the Boot Campaign and Got Your Back this year!

About the Boot Campaign
The Boot Campaign is a grassroots initiative started by five women from Texas known as the Boot Girls. The campaign encourages everyone to “get their boots on”providing an easy and tangible way for Americans to show appreciation for troops, cultivate awareness of the challenges they face upon return and raise funds for military programs meeting the physical and emotional needs of our heroes.

What better way to say “Thank You” to our troops than wearing a pair of boots just like theirs? Join in the growing chorus of musicians, entertainers, athletes and other celebrities and get YOUR boots on!

We Cultivate Awareness:

We believe the first step in making a difference is to understand the need and to make people aware of that need. The Boot Campaign was developed to bridge the gap between American society and the warriors that protect her. The contrast of wearing combat boots with everyday clothes starts a conversation. When you put your boots on, people want to know what you’re up to! More often than not they also decide to join you. Before you know it, your act of wearing boots influences those around you to do the same. Our goal is to see 1.4 million Americans with their boots on thanking 1.4 million active duty military serving in 150 countries globally and stateside.

Operation Homefront

On April 24^th I attended OperationHomefront’s open house event to dedicate and show their new warehouse. Their warehouse houses basic needs for families such as food and diapers. I absolutely love Operation Homefront and all they do for our active duty military families; everything from emergency food assistance to vehicle repairs to families in need. They also hold an Operation Military Child competition each year to recognize the hard work and community service by our military children.

 

Operation Homefront:

MISSION: Operation Homefront (OH) provides emergency financial and other assistance to the families of our service members and wounded warriors.


VISION: Through generous, widespread public support and a collaborative team of exceptional staff and volunteers, we aspire to become the provider of choice for emergency financial and other assistance to the families of our service members and wounded warriors. Where there is a need we do not provide, we will partner with others for the benefit of our military families.

I was able to spend the evening talking to various military members and their spouses about life and needs. Most of the conversations were about lack of time - always feels like a deployment is looming. Although being able to sit and talk to many military families about the stresses and obstacles that we face in addition to facilities that are there to help us through these challenges, made it a great event. It's often the case that families just don't know about all of the services offered to assist in times of need - organizations like Operation Homefront that are there every step of the way to help. I also had the opportunity to discuss PTSD from a spouse’s point of view, in addition to the point of view of providing aid to spouses after suicide through Got Your Back. It's always a tough subject and occasionally can be very polarizing because many just don't understand however in that environment everyone was safe to be honest.

Life is 2/3 Planning

To quote my husband, “Everything is 2/3 planning with 1/3 execution” which is a concept that I have chuckled at more often than not simply thinking it was his military brain rational but not reality.  The more involved I have become with various non-profit organizations and events I realize that non-profit work is just that – far more planning than execution.  Currently I am in the midst of being on planning committees for two major events for Got Your Back, our annual Project Gratitude event with Miss America as well as Martini’s & Makeovers which is our only fundraising event.  This is in addition to coordinating 4 separate nights with the Anaheim Angels for Got Your Back Heroes and being on the committee for an upcoming Portrait of the Fallen art show. 

Being part of these wonderful organizations that give so much back to honor our fallen service members and their families is a joy that is indescribable.  The upcoming events are ones that I have enjoyed immensely in the past; whether it has been the planning, the execution or seeing the visible aftermath in smiles, each moment is worth it.  I wanted to better describe some of our events as they are so important to each family that attends.

These smiles make every moment of planning worth it!

Project Gratitudeis an annual VIP event to honor and celebrate surviving spouses and daughters of our fallen heroes in collaboration with the Department of Defense, Miss America Organization as well as celebrities and corporations. This event starts 3 days before Miss America with daily excursions and fun for both mom and daughter. This trip provides a great opportunity to further increase the bond between parent/child, the children and their moms.

Martini’s& Makeoversis the only fundraiser for Got Your Back Network each year. In 2012 I Co-Produced this event as our first on the West Coast. 10 Surviving Spouses of our fallen were treated to makeovers by 3 salons; they were the VIP honored guests for the evening. This event raised $10,000 for programs and services provided by the Got Your Back Network

Portraits of the Fallenis an organization that commemorates the sacrifice if those America military service members from California who have died while serving our country during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The organization pairs a grieving family with an artist to render an image as a creative means for remembrance and healing.

Nights with the Angelsis such a fun night! For the past 2 years Got Your Back Heroes has coordinated these nights with the Anaheim Angels major league baseball team for a night of simple giggles. This is one of our smaller events because the intimacy of it keeps ‘once in a lifetime moment’ therefore each of 4 nights per season includes 5 families of the fallen. The families are able to attend batting practice on the field, meet some of the players as well as attend the game. We have had a great time with this event each year. Last season one of our families was also invited to throw out the first pitch on Memorial Day – which was something I was so humbled to be a part of as I couldn't have picked a better family to honor their father in this way.

I never imagined that I would admit that my husband was right, but the man and his military brain make sense more commonly than I will admit to him. I’m lucky that I get to learn from the best!

From the beach to the desert

“The reason we race isn't so much to beat each other,... but to be with each other.”
― Christopher McDougall,

I love being part of TAPS Run and Remember Team; Honoring our fallen through the miles, remembering their sacrifice and their lives. Saturday morning I ran the Huntington Beach Tri the Beach 5k with the parents of a fallen soldier and the aunt of a fallen marine. We spent most of the 5k talking about their son/nephew, their likes and dislikes and reasons for joining their respective branches. Often people see the loss of these lives as bigger than the lives they lead. They were men and women that fought and died for a country they love; they had amazing personalities and live on through their families.

This weekend I once again carried the photos of PFC Kelly McGuire and Sgt. Clayton Dunn on my back. After the run I was on the road to another event in Las Vegas when I had an opportunity to talk to PFC McGuires mother Lurlene for the first time. I wanted to know more about her son, about this young man whose first name was my middle name. It turns out that Kelly was married and had a young son when he died; he was a musician at heart but joined the Army to provide a good life for his family and had a pretty big personality. His son is now 5 years old and the apple of his grandparent’s eyes. Kelly is never far from their minds. I am friends with Kelly’s family on Facebook as well as the surviving spouse of Sgt. Dunn. Sgt. Dunn’s wife is doing an amazing job of raising their beautiful little girl.

Kylynn Maxwell and I after setting up the TAPS booth

My sister and I after the run - I was emptying the sand out of my shoes

TAPS Run and Remember post HB 5k sand run

Once we got to Las Vegas I felt even more fulfilled from this conversation. I was there to attend the Gold Star Wives of America regional banquet. Gold Star Wives was organized in 1945 by war widows from World War II. It is a Congressional chartered, non-profit organization incorporated in the State of New York. Eleanor Roosevelt signed the original GSW incorporation papers. The history of this organization is as wonderful as they work they do for our communities and surviving spouses.

We watched the installation of the new regional board, ate a wonderful meal, enjoyed some entertainment and conversed with each other. I had the opportunity to sit next to an 83 year old woman, her husband passed away 10 years ago. She talked me about past wars; deployments spent waiting for physical letters and the love between she and her husband it was inspiring. We forget how much different it was in older times, past wars and simply life.

Patty Termini, Southwest Regional President and Jeanette Early, National President

GoRed for Women Luncheon - OC

The fact is: Heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women, causing 1 in 3 deaths each year. That’s approximately one woman every minute! GoRedforWomen.org

On March 22 I was honored to be invited to the Orange County GoRed for Women Luncheon.  After meeting with the Orange County office I was energized to learn more and be a part of this great movement.  Although I was very busy volunteering during the event I was able to listen to the guest speakers.  One of them was a in her mid 40’s with school age children.  When she drove herself to the hospital during a heart attack her thoughts drifted to who was taking her son to practice and if the dishes were done.  As moms we never take time for ourselves; she had been ignoring warning signs for quite some time.  Her words made me stop for a moment and realize that she and I were not too dissimilar.
Throughout the month of February I learned more about heart health than ever before.  I learned about small easy things we can each do to safeguard ourselves and loved ones against heart attacks as well as start my daughter off on the right path with hearth healthy lunches and snacks.

I was grateful for that opportunity and look forward to both the LA and OC heart gala’s in the next few months.

A flag to honor

On March 30 I was asked, as Shana, to attend a memorial flag raising to honor a soldier from Corona, SSG Michael Cardenaz. I met SSG Cardenaz' wife in December at the Snowball Express send off at LAX along with her sweet daughter (1 of 3). Each time I see this family the little girl looks for my purse and my crown, after all a queen ALWAYS has her crown. This time though...I did not.

Upon arrival I spent some time with the Chaplain that was deployed with Michael. He had some great stories about a man bigger than life, personality for miles and a deep love for his family. Then came the Patriot Guard Riders along with the Soldiers family... quite a sight!  Michael's widow, Active Duty Army in her full military uniform, spoke quietly with thank yous and memories while their daughters cuddled up on the laps of their grandparents. Krystina and I joined other surviving spouses and Michael's family and friends, while the Honor Guard placed the flag on the hooks and started to raise it. To my humbled amusement the perfectly still day became breezy although just enough to fly the flag perfectly up the pole. It was a sight and reminder that this family is never alone.

After the ceremony, the children went off to play while the adults chatted for a few more moments.  Sharing in each others happiness, sadness and in between is what military spouses do. We are each others support no matter what.  

One of my favorite things about this family is that the wife is active duty Army as well - as my daughter says, "She's an AWESOME girl soldier!"