“Because now I know what I have been waiting
for. I know exactly why the other processes didn't work. I know I was supposed
to wait for this little girl.”
― Nia Vardalos, Instant Mom
Adoption was something that I had always wanted to do - I always wanted a HUGE family with both biological and adopted children. I could see it now, huge Christmas' and holiday dinners around the table telling stories about growing up in this amazingly mixed family. There are many people in my family added through adoption so it is a natural part of my life. Then I married into a family with adoption... perfection in my heart. Krystina was the most natural decision ever made.
As a parent you hate to see your children hurt in any way, yet my
darling daughter has been struggling lately and we haven’t been entirely sure
why until last night. She came to me
before bed and asked to talk about something ‘serious’. I had thought it would be a boy question or
what to wear on the last day of school however I couldn't have been more
incorrect. Her big brown eyes looking at
me, searching for something and asking how many children we interviewed before
her. I couldn't hide my expression or
my desire to cry when I realized she thought, most likely based on something
she saw, that we interview children prior to ‘choosing’ her for adoption. Aww my sweet angel; there has only been
you. We sat on our stairs discussing her
adoption, how we became her mommy and daddy and how much we loved her from the
very first moment we saw her. I’m not
sure if she thought we picked her up from an orphanage or where her little mind
was at but I’m glad that she was confident enough to talk to us about it.
We have always been very open with her about her adoption, each year celebrating both her ‘gotcha day’ and her adoption date. We have, however, left the
information and discussions up to her, when she was ready we knew she would
ask. This always seemed better than giving
her a bunch of information that she may not be able to process leaving her with
even more questions or worse, uncertainty or confusion. Each adoptive family handles this different and it's important to respect individual family decisions, this simply works better for us. The two years of home-study preparation, foster care, court hearings, and visitation (both with her and for her biological family) leading up to her adoption was the most stressful,
emotional yet rewarding time in our life and we know that God blessed us the child
perfect for us.
“Are you her Aunt or the Nanny?” The most common question I
get from people that don’t know our family. In the beginning this
bothered me immensely as I couldn't believe that people could be so
bold and nosy. It hurt that people would
question my daughter, not realizing that they weren't questioning my love for
my daughter simply our features. When she
was 3 she came up to me, matter of fact and said, “Mommy, my skin is brown,
yours is white and daddy is Japanese so I look like him.” I smiled and agreed with her however she is half El Salvadorian not Asian.
No my daughter doesn't look a bit like me; she has
beautiful brown hair with brown eyes and olive skin while I’m Irish with fair skin,
blonde hair and green eyes. My daughter is naturally gifted at sports
while I have always had 2 left feet for much outside of marching. I have
no stretch marks or birthing stories but none of this changes one simple fact –
my daughter is MY daughter. She does have my stubborn tendencies, my
drive and my heart as I have hers; she grew in my heart not under it.
Just like any mommy, I remember the day I became a mother like it
was yesterday – Tuesday December 5, 2006 at 11:30am after almost two years of
waiting and praying. This was last time
I slept a full night with no worries, or hearing every single noise in the
house. This was the day that I picked up
my darling daughter from a foster home in Los Angeles County, the day that our
life took a turn towards amazing. She was this sweet little 2 ½ year old
that couldn't wait to go ‘home’ with her toys and start playing with
the ‘new family’. This was the day that Grant, Krystina and I became a
family and started a whole new journey.
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| Our wedding Day 2007 |
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Our oldest and youngest adoptee's!
My Grandmother and Krystina on her adoption day 3/14/2008; Krystina was
3 and my grandmother was 78
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Every day since then we have tried to make every effort to make
sure that her life is exactly how it should be; happy, healthy, full of love
and appreciation. I love that I get to volunteer in her class, be her
Girl Scout troop leader and her team parent for soccer because it means I share
in more memories of my little girl growing up. I love that I can do all
of this with a full time job which is important for me to show her that you can
be a great mom and work because life is about love and priorities. It’s
important to teach her to give back; she loves volunteering at the beach clean
ups and at dog shelters is so she can take care of the earth. It’s
important for her to learn about patriotism and supporting our country and our
military; she proudly stands and sings our National Anthem, wears her Army ACU
shirts whenever she can and will tell anyone that will listen that her daddy is
a Soldier.
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| Daddy's first hug at his homecoming from 15 months in Iraq |
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| Telling the news about her daddy |
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| Yep - another lost tooth |
Lately she ask is asking about goals and her future in soccer,
because she wants to be an Olympic soccer star; She
smiled at me and said that she knows how to work hard for what she wants
because we are great parents that haven’t given up on our dreams. It made me look at our past and how
giving up has never been an option in our lives. We never gave up on
becoming parents, we haven't given up on college as we are both working towards our degrees, we haven’t given up on being the best family we can, we have
supported each other through deployments, we are supportive in each other’s
dreams… being a family and a mommy has been the greatest blessing that I could
ever ask for.
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| Our favorite past time - Anaheim Ducks Hockey! |
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| Helping Mommy at a Got Your Back Heroes event |
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